Breaking Free from Judgmental Thoughts in Leadership Series Part 2
In part one, we explored the basics of judgmental thinking and how it affects leaders both personally and professionally. If you missed that, we recommend reading it before diving into this article.
Today, we’re tackling one of the most common and damaging judgmental thoughts: “I’m not enough.” We’ll first explore how to address this thought within ourselves and then discuss how to support team members who may be struggling with it. Understanding yourself and growing in self-awareness are keys to becoming a leader who can genuinely help others grow.
Understanding and Reframing These Negative Thoughts
The thought “I’m not enough” can derail even the most capable leaders because it shapes how you perceive and respond to situations. The more you internalize it, the more evidence you’ll find to reinforce it. This thought can be triggered by both comparative and internalized criticism. Overcoming it requires a conscious effort to challenge the belief and a willingness to accept feedback—positive and negative—without filtering it through of “I’m not enough.”
Why do you feel like you’re not enough? The first step is to get to the root of this thought.
When does this thought come up the most? How are you reacting to it? Are you accepting it or challenging it?
Examine your feelings and consider your past experiences and current environments at home and work. Why do you feel you’re never enough?
In many cases, the roots of this self-critical thought lie in the past. Dysfunctional families, difficult childhoods, traumas, illnesses, and unsupportive leadership can make you feel less worthy. Somewhere along the way, we buy into the idea that we are not enough and now hold it as a TRUTH.
Remember, it’s an internal message. Even if others are praising you and complimenting your life, you may still feel like you’re not enough. You may also diminish the praise and take it as pity or someone trying to make you feel better. Because it’s an internal thought, you are accepting it as a hard fact that keeps you from trusting yourself and others.
Start to heal the past. Therapists share that not feeling like you’re enough may require healing the past.
If you’re having difficulty letting go of this self-criticism, counseling, therapy, or coaching may help you get past these thoughts.
Try journaling, meditation, or other contemplative activities to release the things that are holding you back.
Challenge your thought of not being enough to see if you are reliving past experiences. Are you expecting not to be enough, so you aren’t giving it your best?
Say, “I am good enough.” Each time this negative thought comes up, rephrase it to a thought that uplifts you and makes you feel like you are good enough, instead.
Remember that you’re unique, with your own particular combination of talents and characteristics, and worthy of love and happiness.
Change your message to “you’re enough.” You’re smart enough, strong enough, and good enough to do anything. You’re capable of great things and can accomplish what you desire.
Allow others to tell you the same. Seek out proof from yourself and others to support your new thought of being enough.
(If this sounds overly optimistic or even corny, recognize that resistance to positive affirmations is often another manifestation of self-doubt. Why not be as kind to yourself as you would be to others?)
By addressing the root causes of this thought and actively challenging it, you can gradually shift from a mindset of scarcity to one of abundance and self-worth.
Supporting Your Team in Overcoming the “I’m Not Enough” Mentality
Helping your team overcome their own self-doubt is essential for fostering growth and creating a supportive work environment. Here’s how you can support your team:
Delegate with purpose. Delegation isn’t just about offloading tasks; it’s an opportunity for team members to develop their skills. When delegating, ensure you provide clear guidance and follow-up with regular check-ins. Listen for signs of insecurity or hesitation and offer encouragement to build their confidence.
Encourage engagement and collaboration. Watch for team members who tend to isolate themselves, as this can be a sign of low self-confidence. Creating opportunities for team collaboration and offering positive reinforcement can help them feel more included and capable.
Hold regular feedback sessions. Annual performance reviews are not enough. Monthly one-on-ones or collaboration meetings provide more timely feedback and create a culture of ongoing development. These sessions allow you to address concerns before they escalate into larger issues.
Listen for cues in how they respond to feedback. Notice how team members react to praise or constructive criticism. Do they downplay their achievements? Are they overly self-critical? Identifying these tendencies allows you to provide targeted support and help them reframe their thinking.
As you work on overcoming your own self-doubt, share insights with your team and be transparent about your growth. This not only builds trust but also normalizes the process of self-improvement.
What’s Next?
In the third part of this series, we’ll dive into another common judgmental thought: “I’ll never improve”—a thought that plagues many perfectionists. Stay tuned for strategies to reframe this mindset and move toward continuous growth.